KrazyCatQueen

I graduated from college and now I get to be free.
except now I have to work and stuff
nothing interesting is happening, really.
That's all, I guess. Thanks for sticking with me. 

here's my other stuff: 

Here is my art blog.

TWITTER

I also do commissions. Paypal only. 

You can also support me on Patreon, you get to see sketches of my art, and sometimes things that I scrapped, or never posted. 

Hi, I know I'm not too active here anymore, but I'm always making art still, ahaha.
If you're interested, I'm pretty active on tumblr.

Here is my art blog.

I also do commissions. Paypal only. 

You can also support me on Patreon, you get to see sketches of my art, and sometimes things that I scrapped, or never posted. 


If you're interested, go ahead and come on over. 

life whatever updates: 

I've been drawing a lot of eyeshield 21 art, omg... I love it so much. Please read eyeshield 21. I've also been drawing Yukari a lot, of course. I should switch it up. She's my go to gal, of course. I'm almost done with school, so I'll have a lot more time to draw again, I'm excited. I'm really tired. I want to take a very long break. 

oh shit it's been over a year since my last journal entry lmao

im still a depressed piece of shit. nothing matters, the usual shit. Except my mental health got another add-on, they said I have Avoidant Personality Disorder. They said there is no cure so I guess I'll just go fuck myself, haha. Explains a lot though. Doesn't change much, just puts a name to the shit that I do. 

Funny story, I saw a friend from deviantart who I hadn't talked to in over 6 years a couple months ago. He texted me and said he was here. I thought he hated me, lmao. We had a good time hanging out. It was very surreal. Like nothing had changed, we picked up where we left off. It was nice to see him. 

I'm 21 now. Not much has changed. I broke up with my boyfriend a couple weeks ago, cause I just want to be alone forever. I don't like to go out. In fact, I don't go out much at all. I like to be left alone. It makes me. happy??? I have a new roommate this year, and we don't really talk, but it's alright. I kind of miss my old roommate though. It's my last year of college. I have my last final of the semester on monday. I think I can do it. I've been avoiding doing stuff for second semester. I need to get an internship. I really just need to do it. 
SEE> AVOIDANT PERSONALITY DISORDER
Oops. 
I'll write a note that tells me to do it, and hopefully I'll do it. OR. I might just take my current job, take a new branch from it, and say it's an internship. wwww. I could probably get away with it, so whatever. 

I'm not very active on here, I know. Sorry. I spend most of my time on tumblr and twitter. If you want, you can find me there. 

TWITTER
TUMBLR
ART ONLY TUMBLR

A friend posted a journal of how they used to spend so much time here, and I think I will too.

It's really surreal seeing old things from time to time. Certain sets of Touhou icons that are now a few years old that I remember coming out ahah. I feel old. I'm still only 20. I joined this website when I was 13 on my birthday. Not for rules sake, but just cause I thought I might like it. 
I did, it was a part of my every day life. I guess, I still like it, I'm just not so present here. I check in from time to time, read some things, but I don't actively spend time here. I roleplayed every day. The groups I mained soon died out, it was sad. Sometimes I visit the chat room and change the header between a friend and I who pass statuses like notes back and forth to each other, even though we can just text each other. I am still connected to some of these people, and I still love them dearly. 

I've been having problems still. For those of you unaware, I have severe depression and anxiety, paranoia, and PTSD. It's a pretty wild ride. 
Lately, I have felt nothing. As though there is no joy left inside me. I have small bursts of excitement and happiness that last for a minute, but then it is back to this state of discontent. I'm being put on different medication to try and fix it. It sounds dramatic, but I feel so numb. It's strange because I'm aware that I'm not supposed to feel this way, but it's just how I am. I'd really like to be happy again. I don't know what to do. I just want to sit in bed all day. There is nothing that motivates me. I forget to eat, I forget to leave the room. I just lay here. When I do go out, I immediately want to return to the safety of my room. Even drawing has become hard. I don't want to play video games or watch TV. All I do is sleep, it's pretty pathetic. I've tried buying things to make my happy. Trying new things. Going out with friends. Cooking. Nothing works. I just crawl back in bed and wait there. I don't know what I'm waiting for, but I hope it comes soon.  

Third year of college
i don't really like it
I mean, I've never really liked it, of course. 
I have a new cat, her name is Venus. I still miss Silver, but Venus is nice too. She is very curious, and sort of a trouble maker. She likes to follow me around the apartment, I think that's really cute. It seems like so long ago that Silver died.I miss her a lot. She was so dear to me. We must move on.

There's something wrong with me. I'm not sure what. I'm going to the doctor on friday. My mental health still is in a bad place. I feel like there might be something more than depression and anxiety though. Something else is wrong. I wonder what it is. 

I wonder when I'll be happy.